No matter what a client comes to me with, whether it’s because they find themselves dating the same type of person over and over, or they’re questioning their relationship, I always start in the same place with self-love. This is the key in how to use the law of attraction to find love.

The reason we work on self-love before we dive into dating or the relationship, is because I believe if you want to find “The One” you have to be “The One” first.

The  relationships you attract into your life are the direct manifestation of the way you treat yourself.

The reason is because like energy will attract like energy.

If you really want to have this amazing relationship and meet the man of your dreams, you have to be that person for yourself. You want to attract exactly what you’re going to get back.

If you first work on yourself and self-love, it doesn’t just mean looking pretty or getting dressed up. These are parts of self-love as they can be an expression of honoring yourself, but self-love is also about accepting yourself wherever you are in the process with an open mind and an open heart.

We all want to improve and we all want to get better, but when we get stuck in this negative self-talk telling ourselves that we don’t deserve true love, or we’re not good enough, or not pretty enough, we settle for less than what we deserve.

So the key is really being yourself and falling in love with yourself first and foremost.

Knowing what makes you happy, confident, and come alive.

Taking great care of yourself.

And then knowing what you want. Knowing what you’re looking for so you have the confidence to attract that in a partner and not settle for less than you deserve.

The tricky part about this is sometimes when we begin working on ourselves and become more positive and excited, we can end up attracting the opposite of this with a partner.

Especially if you’re very positive you may attract a “sponge person” who wants to drain off all of your energy.

As you build up your self-love, confidence and strength, you’ll learn to look for signs in a partner that you’ll quickly be able to realize when someone isn’t going to be good for you. They won’t be the right match.

When you’re putting out to the Universe that you love yourself, deserve an amazing relationship, and have positive expectation of receiving it, then you’ll match that energy and attract it back into your life.


If you let yourself envision this amazing relationship and feelings of anxiety, doubt, or sadness are triggered, then there is an underlying limiting belief that needs to be released. I work on energetically releasing them with my clients.

Self-love is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight. But with every new way of thinking about ourselves, of doing things just for ourselves, of looking at our needs and our passions and our gifts as being the daily confirmations of all that we are and all that we have to offer to someone worthy of being with us, we start to catch a glimpse of this new way of being.

At some point the more we practice, the more we make these daily habits in our everyday lives, we discover the truth that there is truly so much to love about you!

Now I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

What does self-love mean to you? How do you practice it in your own life? How has it impacted your relationships?

Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply.

Thank you a thousand times over for adding your love and your voice to this amazing community.

With lots of love,




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