Is your weight constantly holding you back? Check this out.

Stop Fighting Food

 

Today I want to talk to you about a very sensitive and challenging issue.

I see too many people in my life constantly struggling with food and their weight, and today, if you fall into this category, I want to talk to you…
 
I want to talk to those of you who are:
 
Constantly searching for the perfect diet,
and constantly falling off the perfect diet,
 
Constantly swinging between “this time I’ve got it,”
and “oh crap, I suck, I’ll never get this.”
 
and always feeling “good” or “badly” about yourself,
depending on what fits in your closet,
or how well you ate that day.
 
More than anything, I want to talk to those of you who feel like dieting or weight management are a full time job – think about how much more full your life would be, if food didn’t take up so much time and energy.
 
So many people I work with allow their weight, and the way they feel about themselves, to hold them back.
 
Not dating because you don’t feel confident about the way you look.
 
Comparing yourself to others and never feeling good ‘enough’.
 
Holding yourself back from going after your dreams because you don’t feel like you’re worth it, or wonder if you can even do it.
 
Isabel Foxen Duke, my friend and founder of Stop Fighting Food, is committed to helping others break out of this tiring cycle.
 
Unlike many food or body experts, Isabel doesn’t think this is an issue of will power or finding the right diet.
 
She spent years studying behaviors with food, and discovered that it’s our beliefs and thoughts about food and weight that keep us stuck in the diet-binge cycle – and it’s in changing our thinking that we can find a way out.
 
I have personally learned SO much from Isabel and highly recommend her to anyone struggling with these issues. This is life changing stuff here…
 
So, if you’re over the diets and want to finally start thinking differently, you can check out Isabel’s free introductory video series here.
 
Isabel’s unique voice in the “emotional eating” space has helped thousands of people all over the world (even Ricki Lake is a fan!) and I’m a proud supporter of her work.
 
You don’t have to live your life clinging desperately to diets, only to end up with your fingers in a jar of Nutella at the end of the day.
 
Here’s the link again to check it out and sign up for free if this resonates!
 
 
Peace and food freedom,

Alexis
 
 
P.S. Here’s a sneak peek at my own before & after when I was struggling with my body & weight….
before and after

 
 
 

Forgive your way thin

forgive your way thin

I’m not perfect.

 
Not even close. I love chocolate and red wine and I can’t resist a good pizza.
 
And sometimes I overdo it. But overall, I pride myself on maintaining a healthy mind and body.
 
That’s now, but about four years ago, my life was totally different. I hated my body, I struggled with my weight, and food was my frenemy (friend/enemy) – it was a source of comfort, stress, pleasure, sadness, boredom, and more.
 
I was constantly stressing over what I ate and what I weighed.
 
And as a result, whether I was ten pounds underweight, overweight or at various points between, I was completely miserable and desperately lacked self-care.
 
My life felt like a roller coaster; food was the car and I was just along for the ride. And that really sucked. For so many years, I had tried to get my eating under wraps; I cut out all the “junk” and ate mostly fruits and veggies and vowed to exercise on the reg, hoping that one day, it would stick and I’d be healed.
 
And repeatedly, I was disappointed when it didn’t work.
 
When you know that deep down inside you have the potential to be so much more than what you’re putting out there, you become frustrated and beat down on yourself. And the truth is, the negative self-talk, name-calling (calling your body fat) and defeated attitude do nothing good for you.
 
You get stressed and bummed out. And when you’re bummed out, you eat.
 
The good news is that there’s a way out of this and it doesn’t include diets, detoxes, juice cleanses, pills or any kind of “magic fix.”
 
The key is forgiveness.
 
Forgiveness is the first step to permanently changing your relationship with food and your body.
 
When you can forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made in the past, you allow yourself to see you for you, not your struggle.
 
You grant yourself the opportunity to make peace with your body; to thank her being there for you, after all you’ve put her through – the starving, bingeing, purging, name-calling, you name it.
 
Forgiveness is your ticket to freedom.
 
You see, most women believe that if they can just gain control over their weight, everything else will fall into place; they’ll feel confident, have more fun, be carefree and get the body they dream of.
 
But when trying hard isn’t working, I encourage you to try easier. To surrender control. To trust that your body knows better and won’t mislead you.
 
If that sounds good to you, here are a few tips to get you started:

  1. Give yourself “permission to be human;” to mess up. To learn through trial and error. Use your “mistakes” as lessons. With compassionate curiosity start to ask yourself, “what happened to cause this food frenzy?” Understanding your triggers will help you identify a binge before it happens and allow you to find new ways to handle your emotions.

 

  1. Speak to yourself sweetly. Changing the conversation that you have with yourself can be an extremely powerful tool to healing and forgiveness. Try turning around your negative self-talk to something more positive. Example: “I’ll never be able to stop binge-eating. I just don’t have the willpower.” To: “I’m doing my best to listen to my body’s needs and I fully love and accept myself.”

 

  1. Surrender control. Remove the labels from the “good” versus “bad” foods. Restrictive eating only leads to bingeing.

 

Remember, as with learning anything new, give yourself time and patience to acquire and practice these new, gentle and loving tools. Like working a new muscle, you will feel stronger each time you practice.
 
And that practice will lead to progress.

 

Guest Author Bio:

stephanieStephanie Lisetta Ferisin is a Body Image & Intuitive Eating Coach. Stephanie works with men and women who are sick and tired of struggling with their relationship with food and their bodies and want to feel and look their best without stressing over what they eat and what they weigh. In her one-on-one work, Stephanie helps her clients discover within, a body and life they desire through self-love and self-acceptance. She creates a safe space for her clients to receive the compassion, support and guidance to help them letting food consume them so they can live the good life, drama-free.
 
Stephanie is unlike many other nutrition and health experts in that her approach to wellness does not dwell on counting calories and weighing out foods. Her philosophy is that nourishment goes beyond the food on your plate. True nourishment refers to the self-love, self-care and whole foods that feed our mental, emotional and physical bodies. Through her unique approach, Stephanie empowers individuals to change their perspective on weight and weight loss so they can spend less time obsessing over the number on the scale and more time doing what they love to do most.

On Pregnancy and Loss…How to Deal With the Pain of Miscarriage

on pregnancy and loss

I wish I could share some happier news with you.

I had been excited to tell you that I was pregnant, but sadly that came to an abrupt end last week.
 
I try to usually write and share things that I hope will inspire or uplift you in some way, but I want to also share my sadness and pain as well as my love and joy.
 
And the truth is that life is full of all these moments. It’s a rainbow of colors, feelings, emotions and experience that sometimes just feels gray.
 
So yes…last week I had a miscarriage.
 
And went through the range of emotions that come with a loss.
 
It all happened so quickly, and I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the physical pain that accompanied the procedure I went.
 
But what surprised me most was the emotional pain I felt. Especially when getting pregnant with my husband Peter came as a bit of a surprise.
 
At first I felt resentment.
 
After finding out at my doctor’s appointment that the baby had no heart beat I went out for lunch and had a beer. A very large beer.
 
I felt angry that for the last few months I had been tired, nauseas, unable to enjoy my life as I normally would for what felt like nothing. I also felt angry at friends I saw who had normal pregnancies. Feelings of “why did I have to go through this when they got to hear their baby’s heart beat?”.
 
Those feelings soon passed and were replaced with sheer physical pain, turning to excitement at feeling better, and then transitioning into the sadness and grief that accompanies loss.
 
I did a lot of crying. I talked to God. Talked to friends. Was sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a nice card.
 
And I talked to women. It was such a gift to realize that I was not alone. Sooo many women have miscarriages, even ones who have healthy babies now. It is nature’s way. And it can also be a cleansing process for your womb to have a healthy pregnancy going forward.
 
Yet so many women sweep it under the rug. This was my initial reaction too. To just get over it and deal with the pain on my own. I think in part because I want to move on with my life. And in part because I feel like a failure. I have no idea why I feel that way, but it’s a definite underlying tone.
 
This is why I knew I needed to write this article. So any woman going through this experience knows she’s not alone.
 
Today, I’m just feeling gratitude. I haven’t experienced much great loss yet in my life, and this process has brought a new sense of color and richness to my life that I hadn’t experienced before.
 
During the actual pregnancy I felt feelings of depression for the first time due to hormones, so now I’ll have a deeper sense of compassion for those suffering from depression.
 
The experience has brought me closer to my husband, who was there with me the whole time, holding a cold towel on my forehead when I needed it. And for his love and the bond we share I am extremely grateful.
 
It has also brought me closer to other members of my family and friends. I am blessed to have a support network who reach out to me when I’m too afraid to reach out to them.
 
It has also taught me that so much is out of our control. This was my first pregnancy and I took it for granted. I thought it was within my control. God had other plans for me apparently. I learned to surrender…to my body, to life, to God. I know that next time I become pregnant one day (and I am still quite hopeful) I will embrace it for the miracle it is.
quote 18
 

Love,

Alexis

 
P.S. I also realize that every miscarriage is different, and each hard in their own way. For mother’s who lose their babies far into pregnancy, or even shortly after birth…my heart goes out to you. I don’t know how you do it.

Let’s Ditch the Diet Drama

ditch the diet drama

Photo credit Jason Schembri

Self-love is one of those “trendy” phrases that seems to be popping up everywhere these days.

 
But if you had asked me five years ago what self-love even meant, I wouldn’t be able to tell you, nor would I know that it was greatly lacking in my life.
 
For years I struggled with my weight, with body confidence and with relationships. I kept myself super busy to avoid being alone. On the outside my life probably looked great, I had my ducks in a row, but yet I just didn’t feel…happy. And I didn’t know why.
 
Finally, after doing some deep introspective work, I realized that the answer wasn’t going to be found in the next man I dated, or job I got, or fitting back into my skinny jeans.
 
The answer would be found by unlocking my own heart.
 
Once I learned to do that, everything else fell into place. I met the man of my dreams who I’m about to marry, created a business that fills me with joy and those skinny jeans? Yup…those are back in business!
 
But how exactly do I describe and define self-love? Well, in two ways.

  1. Self-love is a state of appreciate that grows through action.
  2. Self-love is best not looked at as a noun but rather as a verb.

So, grows through action.
 
That is very important (and a huge relief!) because it means that there are things we can actively do. Self-love is a choice we make every single day and it comes in many different flavors.
 
Sometimes the best way to see where we could use self-love is to look at what area of our lives is self-love lacking.
 
For some of my clients it comes in the form of failed relationship patterns, for others it comes from lack of motivation or purpose, and for many it comes in the way we take care of ourselves and our bodies.
 
You see, taking care of our bodies is one of the most direct forms of self-love.
 
When we make the decision to take care of our bodies in a way that feels good to us and honors the goddess that we truly are, our bodies will take care of us right back!
 
Those skinny jeans I mentioned earlier? I lost 20 pounds that I have been able to keep off for years.
 
Did I do it by dieting?
 
Nope.
 
Did I do it by restricting myself in any way?
 
Nope?
 
Did I do it from depriving myself?
 
Definitely not!
 
In fact, I don’t believe in dieting. When you try to deprive or restrict yourself, you automatically think more thoughts about what you’re trying not to do. This is the law of attraction.
 
So if you say to yourself “I’m never going to eat any chocolate again.” It doesn’t matter that you’re saying to yourself you’re not going to eat chocolate, you’re still thinking “chocolate” all the time and much more likely to end up eating it!
 
And believe me, I am a lover of chocolate :)
 
Instead, look at each time you feed your body as a way of showing yourself love. Here are some of my favorite ways to do this:
 
  1. Grocery shopping can be a chance to practice self-love.

When you go to the grocery story, say with each item you’re choosing as you put it into the cart, “Body, I am choosing this for you because I love you.” This is a great way to censor what you buy (i.e. don’t go to the grocery store hungry!) and also to really honor yourself and your body.

 
 2.  Give gratitude before each meal.

This has become a tradition in my house. When my fiancé and I sit down to dinner, we always say five things we’re grateful for. This helps to slow down, give thanks for what you have in your life and enjoy your food. I always start by saying I’m grateful for the nourishing food in front of me and the hard work that went into it.

 
  3. Taste, like really taste, your food.

Make it a point to sit down and eat without distractions. When we’re eating on the go or in front of a TV or computer, we often don’t even taste our food. Chances are you’ll be more likely to eat a larger quantity of food or binge eat later on. It’s important to pay attention to your food when you eat and enjoy it. Savor each bite and notice the different flavors and textures in your mouth.

 

From this perspective, eating truly is an act of self-love. So go ahead and treat yourself and your body with the respect you deserve!

“People who love to eat are always the best people.” – Julia Child

 

Let me know in the comments below! Which one of these tips are you going to try out?

 

Love your food, darling

Alexis Signature

 

 

 

 

P.S. Click here to get your free copy of my Self-Love Manifesto