8 Signs that You’ve Developed Greater Self-Love and Awareness

8 signs that you've developed greater self-love

The problem with developing a stronger sense of ourselves, and self-love, is that it can be rather elusive.

In other words, how do we know if we get there? If we’ve arrived?
 
The thing about self-love is that it’s an ongoing, ever-evolving process. It’s about living out your fullest potential. Developing a stronger sense of love and compassion within yourself, and extending that love to others.
 
However, there are a few sign posts along the way to point you in the right direction, and I’ve listed 8 of them below.
 
Now, this isn’t to say that you’re going to be feeling this way all the time, but hopefully as you strengthen the muscle more of your days will be filled with joy, energy, enthusiasm and compassion.
 
Check out the 8 signs below to show that you’ve developed greater self-love and awareness.
 

1. You don’t fear making the wrong decision, because you’re aware that there can always be a lesson in it.

 
The fear of making the wrong decision has immobilized me in the past. I don’t know when I stopped trusting myself, but somewhere along the way I realized that I’d question every single decision.
 
“Is this the right choice?” “Should I not have broken up with him?” “Will I be happy if I move to this new city?”
 
Sure, decisions are scary, because to choose one thing means to close off other possibilities. But making a choice can also set you free. Allow yourself to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that each decision always carries the opportunity for a profound spiritual lesson. If you’re in the midst of making a decision and need to talk it out, click here.
 

2. Your inner-critic voice is softer and is balanced out by the compassionate observer.

 
Have you heard that voice that says “You’re not good enough, smart enough or attractive enough?” Yeah…me too.
 
The thing is, this voice isn’t as bad as you might think. If you listen to it from the state of a compassionate observer, you might notice that it’s just scared and trying to motivate or protect you in some way. The problem is that often the critical voice is the only voice we hear. We might think we need it to motivate ourselves, and it can be motivating, but it can also be crippling.
 
If a little child was curled up in a ball crying, do you think yelling would motivate them? Probably not. In that moment, they might just need a hug and for someone to tell them that it’s okay. As adults, we need this too. We must tap into our compassionate observer voice, also known as your inner wisdom and hear what that has to say.
 

3. You understand that happiness is not something to be found but rather cultivated from within.

 
This is a biggie. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but if you’re not living it than it hasn’t really settled into your bones. So I’ll say it again: don’t chase after happiness, choose it every single day.
 
It sounds cheesy but it’s true…the grass is greenest where we water it. Happiness is an inside job. We must allow ourselves to feel it and give it room to grow. I’m not saying that external forces like a certain job, relationship or place won’t make you happy. The right one probably will! But that doesn’t mean it will make you happy forever or that you can rely on it for your sole source of happiness. If you do than you’ll be putting a tremendous amount of pressure on one specific thing. You’ll squeeze the life out of it.
 
So instead, decide to choose happiness, cultivate it from within and bring it forth to everything around you.
 

4. You’ve stopped worrying so much about what people will think of you and no longer feel the need to judge others.

 
This one goes without much explanation. It no longer feels so significant what others are going to say or think about you. I’m sure we can all think of someone who’s a total gossip. I certainly can count a few I’ve known over the years. But is this person truly happy? Are they able to have authentic relationships when others are terrified of what they may say behind their back? Probably not.
 
How would your life be if you allowed yourself to be who you are without worrying what others will think? Would you stand a little taller, sing a little louder or smile at strangers more often? A few years ago I was at a bar with a couple of girlfriends. I suddenly noticed a few guys next to us making fun of the way my friend was speaking. I don’t know where this moment of boldness came from, but I looked at him and said “Your judgments are not a reflection of us, they’re a reflection of yourself as someone who needs to judge”.
 
That shut him up.

 

5. Your body becomes more sensitive and you can no longer tolerate toxins as you once could.

 
I’m not sure if this is true for everyone but I thought I’d throw it in here because it’s been my experience. I now cringe when I think back to how much I could both binge drink and eat in college and my early 20s.

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy great food and a glass of wine, but the effect on my body and my psyche after over-indulging lingers longer. Your body wants to move and sweat every day, stay totally hydrated and be nourished with delicious, healthy foods.

 

6. You have the courage to let go of situations and relationships that no longer serve you.

 
This is a big one, and also an uncomfortable one at times. In order to fully give ourselves love and respect, we must also accept that some relationships have outgrown their purpose and no longer serve us anymore. You may need to cut off ties with certain people altogether, or set boundaries within the relationship.
 
This is particularly true with past romantic relationships. Sometimes you must fully cut ties to give yourself the chance to heal and move forward in love. Or it could be a job you know you’ve outgrown but are scared to leave. Or a living situation that no longer fits who you are today.

 

7. You no longer feel lonely because you like the person you’re alone with.

 
I first heard from Wayne Dyer that “you’re never alone if you enjoy the person you’re alone with”. For so long I felt unhappy and incomplete being single. I craved a relationship because I simply didn’t want to be alone. Sitting still for too long meant that I would be alone with my thoughts and have to face the fact that I didn’t really like the person I was alone with. Now, I love spending quality time by myself. It re-energizes me so that I have more to give to my relationship and work.

 

8. You allow yourself to have fun and feel joy in the present moment.

 
You stop always looking to the past or worrying about the future, and set yourself free in the present moment. And you enjoy it. You can be fully engaged in your work, or while making love, or singing in the shower.
 
Recently, we were visiting family who had a trampoline in their back yard. When I was a kid, I’d spend hours at a time bouncing away on our trampoline. Now, it’s been a good 15 years or more since I’ve even been in the vicinity of a trampoline, so when I saw this I totally lit up! I made my husband help me take off my heels so I could jump on it for a little while. I thought I’d be apprehensive but those feelings of joy and play that I had a kid came rushing back to me. There’s a lot of joy out there, allow yourself to experience it.
 
 
P.S. Did you know that you can talk privately with me, and get advice and coaching tailored just for you? Click here to check out the ways we can work together!
 

Mackerel with Crushed Potatoes and Lemon Zest

Mackerel with Crushed Potatoes and Lemon

 

I love one pot or one skillet meals.

They’re simple, rustic and elegant all at once. I spent a blissful month in Greece with my husband on our honeymoon, and making this dish brought me right back to those beautifully uncomplicated, sun-filled islands. Nothing about their food was pretentious, but the simple and fresh ingredients never let us down. I hope you enjoy this dish with the elements of fresh fish, potatoes, lemon, oregano and yogurt.

Ingredients:

  •  1 lb. small potatoes
  • 1 cup plain Greek yogurt
  • 2 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tsp white wine vinegar
  • 5 garlic cloves, peeled, crushed
  • 4 6 oz. skin-on mackerel filets (can use snapper, bass or trout)
  • 3 TB fresh oregano leaves
  • 1 tsp grated lemon zest
  • Kosher salt and black pepper

 

How-To:

  • Place potatoes in a large pot, add water to cover and season with kosher sa.t Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until tender (approx 12-15 mins). Drain and let cool slightly.
  • Meanwhile, preheat broiler. Whisk yogurt, lemon juice and vinegar in a small bowl. Season with salt and pepper to taste and set aside.
  • Place potatoes on a broiler proof rimmed baking sheet or large cast iron skillet (what I used above) and, using the bottom of a small bowl, press potatoes to flatten slightly. Add garlic to the potatoes and drizzle with 4 TB olive oil. Season with kosher salt and pepper. Broil until potatoes are golden brown (approx 10 mins).
  • Rub skin of mackerel with remaining olive oil, season with salt and pepper. Place, skin side up, on top of potatoes and broil until fish is opaque and skin is crisp (approx 10 mins). Remove from oven and top with oregano and lemon zest.
  • Spoon yogurt sauce onto each plate and top with potatoes and fish, sprinkle with sea salt.

 

P.S. Like this recipe? Click here to receive a FREE copy of my Digital Book!

The most simple and profound advice I can give you

the most simple and profound advice

I want you to take a moment to take a real deep breath with me.

Yes…right now.
 
Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold it, let it all go.
 
Ahh…doesn’t that feel so much better?
 
I feel incredibly blessed and grateful to be living in a time where there are more opportunities than ever. That allows me to deliver this message to people literally all over the world and to see that we all share something in common.
 
That being said, sometimes I also get incredibly overwhelmed in a world that is all about information, productivity and achievement. I feel like I can’t regain my sanity and finally fee calm until I’ve checked off every thing on my to-do list.
 
The BIG problem with that line of thinking is that the calm, peaceful moment never comes. Not even after all the to-dos are checked off our lists, because we’ve conditioned our minds to be all about do do do and go go go.
 
So the simplest and yet most profound advice I can give you to quickly and easily make your life just that much better…is….breathe.
 
Breathing deeply delivers more oxygen to our bodies and brains, making us feel more clear and energized.
 
It makes you feel better and happier which means you can attract more positive things to you.
 
And it quiets your monkey brain so that deep, profound and life-altering messages can get to you from your intuition. Yay!
 
I have to check in with this myself all the time to see if I’m really breathing. Half the time, I’m not.
 
Changing your life doesn’t have to be hard! Let’s eliminate hard from our vocab. It just takes a little mindset shifts, tangible new habits, surrounding yourself with people and situations that bring you up and hiring a kickass life coach like this girl!
 
In case you’d like to take it to the next level, I’ve created this short video for you with 3 of my favorite, easy-peasy breathing techniques.
 

 

Love and oxygen,

Alexis

 
 

The secret to beating overwhelm this upcoming holiday season – free call!

free call

The other day I went grocery shopping and noticed a whole display of Christmas decorations and plastic trees.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like the holiday season comes earlier and earlier every year!
 
I mean…I don’t even have a Halloween costume planned yet.
 
There is something that I do love about this time of year though. There is an energy about it that breathes new life into being.
 
“Aprils have never meant much to me, autumns seem that season of beginning, spring.” – Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s
 
I just love that quote. And it’s true…we have the chance at a new beginning.
 
But what often ends up happening is that with everything going on, we barely have time to catch our breath.
 
Stress, depletion and overwhelm run at an all-time high this season.
 
And the thing is, there is an actual science that explains the reason many of us feel this way particularly in the fall.

So let me ask you:

  • Is your to-do list a mile long? Are you totally overwhelmed by all the things that need to get done without enough hours in the day?
  • Is your self care going out of the window? (exercise and a nice sit-down dinner…forget it!)
  • Do you not even remember the last time you felt totally light, clear and focused?

 

That’s why I’m hosting a FREE call on Tuesday, October 28th at 8pm EST/ 5pm PST to help you overcome overwhelm for good and breeze through this upcoming holiday season.

I’ll share with you:

  • The science that explains the actual reason why we feel more anxious and overwhelmed in the fall, and how you can turn this into an asset.
  • How to infuse your life with more fun, energy and self-care so you can stay calm, grounded and happy.
  • Surefire tips and strategies to stay focused on your most important goals while getting everything done.

Sign up and grab your spot. Even if you cannot make the actual date, don’t fret, I’ll send you the recording afterwards.
 
This is going to be an action-packed call so you’ll definitely want to take notes! Plus, I’ll be offering a bonus giveaway for those of you who show up live.
 
xo
Alexis
 
 
P.S. I don’t do these free classes very often so you’ll definitely want to hop onboard! If I get good feedback I may make them more regular :)